


After All 1/1

by dangerusliasons



Category: SGA - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-01
Updated: 2010-04-01
Packaged: 2017-10-08 14:44:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/76728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dangerusliasons/pseuds/dangerusliasons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John's thoughts after <i>Conversion</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	After All 1/1

Title: After all......  
Author:   
Fandom: SGA  
Rating: PG -13   
Spoilers: Conversion

After all he was only trying to protect them, no, trying to protect Elizabeth. He was right, he could feel the change inside of him, just like Ford. And it was creeping him out. The viral inhibitor they were giving him, let him think and act like he was normal but the creepy feeling that had crept up his arm and onto his face reminded him that he was definitely _not_ normal anymore.

*

He'd seen the look of, what was it, _terror_ in her eyes, Elizabeth's eyes when she saw how he was changing. _Becoming_. And that scared him more. That's why he told her to, _double the detail, and get the hell out_, he kept repeating to himself. Trying to protect her. Protect them all. He knew a lot about Atlantis. Good places to hide, _in the dark, alone_.

*

_If you won't go back. Then kill me now. It's better for the both of us._

_I can't do that _

__

Even as he's running he still hears that conversation echoing through his head. He did ask. She wouldn't even consider it. He knew she wouldn't but he still had to try, and now he was loose in the city. He could feel his mind slowly slipping away. Every part that was the human, John Sheppard, slipping more and more into the black. Right now he wished she had killed him.

*

_ Need the hive, must get to the hive _ As he lay sleeping, it was all Sheppard's mind could think of. Flashes of Elizabeth, _hope I didn't hurt her_ passed over him, he remembered everything. He could feel her throat against his palm as he closed it around her. Remembered hearing her labored breathing. _ Mate _ was his first thought.

*

His eyes flicked open. He had an awful headache. He can hear Carson, and Elizabeth speaking to him. The only word he understood, _mission_. Adrenaline, or something akin to it, flooded his veins as he dressed, the inhibitor keeping him lucid, he didn't like the term massive dose. The pain was a dull, ever present ache in his head. One he could live with. He was going through the gate. To try and save himself, _preserve_ he heard in his head. He, the part of him that was still human, wished Elizabeth had given the order to kill him. Anything would be better than to feel the slow change in him. The heightened sense's flowing around him, through him. The light only hurt his eyes, it was too bright. He didn't hear Rodney as he found himself walking to the gate. His only thought, _preserve_.

*

He was back in the infirmary. He could feel it. The last thing he remembered was getting the eggs. Then fear, and he was running, out of the cave, knocking over Ronon. Then nothing. He could hear a voice, Carson, telling the other's he'd be alright. He could no longer here the thoughts that were not his. He almost missed them. They had been a constant companion. Even though the thought of him turning into a Wraith still freaked him out. He could feel himself, slowly getting back to normal.

__

_We'd like to....._

_Stay a while.... _

_If that's alright...._

__

He smiled, knowing that Teyla, Ronon and even Rodney were all waiting outside. Just to make sure he was okay. He took comfort in that. Knowing that they were there, standing guard. He was extremely tired. Weather it was from Ronon shooting him again, or just the sheer exhaustion of almost being turned Wraith, he couldn't tell. He shifted on the bed, trying to get comfortable. At least he wasn't in restraints. _Sleep_ was his last thought before he drifted into unconsciousness.


End file.
